My mother is left alone after the marriage of my younger sister. I have two brothers two. Both of them have kids. However when even I visit my mother I feel all of them are busy in their own world. My mother is always alone in her room. She is unable to walk more due to the problem in her legs and knees. She forgets if she has eaten food and if she has prayed or not. If she is asked any question, she keeps thinking about it and then she shows her unawareness. I want her to stay with me but my brothers don’t agree. (Arifa, Peshawar)
Advice: Loss of memory is very common problem in elderly people or aged people. The reason for it is mental and physical weakness and also loneliness. Often people who are ignored are more depressed. There is an evident decrease in the mental and physical health along with the increasing age. It is very necessary to spend time with aged people, eat with them, talk with them and let them meet other people. You understand this situation and that is why you want to keep your mother with you. Your brother’s permission is not required to allow your mother to stay with you. If you try to talk to them and make them understand that they also need to take care of their mother, it is quite possible that things will change.
Continuous restlessness:
Mustaqil Bey Sukkoni
I had complaints from my family and they also had complaints in the past. They used to hate the guy i knew from the last 5 years. This was the same situation with the guy’s family too. I was very much fed up of bearing the cruelty from my family. Now I have left my home. One of our friends has rented out a room to us. We have already done the marriage ourselves.. My husband is very happy but I am in continuous restlessness. I thought I will get all the happiness of life if we are together but in fact i have become more upset (Bisma, Rawalpindi)
Advice: The legal marriage is only the one which is announced. It is very important that along with the close relative, there are also witnesses for marriage present during marriage. If any boy or any girl declared themselves as husband and wives based on any circumstances, then this is not considers as legal marriage. So it is important that you talk to the guy and then convinces your families to arrange for legal marriage. In order to get further information on this, contact any Islamic scholar who can guide you well.
Forceful Marriage
Zabardasti Shadi
I am not very social. I meet very few people, especially relatives. There is a person who always says things that I do not like. Whenever I meet him, he always starts talking about other people’s fault and his greatness. I had a chance to travel with him. I felt very uneasy with him and decided not to meet him ever. There are many people who have complaints against him. Now my mother wants to get married to his sister’s daughter and I don not like that family at all. I am thinking if they force me to get married to her. I will settle abroad after marriage and my mother can live with her daughter in law here. One of my friend said that I am psychologically not fit. I have left that friend as well. (Gul Khan, Peshawar)
Advice: It is not necessary that whoever you meet will talk in the way you them to talk. Those who try to show other that are better than others are actually suffering from some sort of complex. Ask your mother to look for another girl for you. This is better than leaving your wife to live separately. Now a day’s even girls have the courage to express their likeness, where as u are boy. You have the full right to express yourself but within the boundaries of respect with parents.
Fear of Failure
Nakaamion sey Dar:
People think that I have a very attractive personality. Whoever meets me once becomes my very good friend. But I always get upset about my responsibilities,. College holidays, coaching centre holidays and forgetting routine job has become a habit. I am the brother of five sisters. Everybody takes care of me. Now I am scared of the failure in exam. If I fail in exam everyone’s attitude will change. I will also have to face problems in that situation. (Jamal Ahmed, Lahore)
Advice: in order to bring improvement in your life. It is very important to adopt stability and regularity in your aims. Fulfil your responsibility with stability. Also evaluate yourself. Positive attitude and mental concentration will also strengthen your personality. If you follow a proper routine, you will never fail.
